no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize