how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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