we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
