tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
