those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
