I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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