Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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