white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize