is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
