just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
