Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
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He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
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I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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