Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
