I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
