So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
