Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
