I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
