My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
