Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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