Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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