Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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