I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
