smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
