ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
