I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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