sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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