She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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