Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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