we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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