Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
