I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
