Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
