I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
