Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
