guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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