I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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