I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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