Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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