what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
