i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
