apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
