found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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