It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
