Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Dick very happy bro
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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