Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
