If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god