I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Come share oat with me in your robe
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week