actually, I'm a sock model
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
