So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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