God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
