Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
