Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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