The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
