I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I love having hate sex.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
