i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
