Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
